Finding God's Will in Friendship

The first thing I wanted to know after deciding to seriously be a Jesus-follower was, “How do I know God’s will for me?” I met people who didn’t choose their shoes for the day without consulting “God’s will” on the matter. Really? If God was going to choose my shoes, then surely I’d better consult him on my career path! But I had this nagging doubt. Was his will really that specific? Shoes? And if not, where did he draw the line? I can choose to eat organic (or not) but God decides on the pork issue? Just how much was up to me and how much did I need to search for divine direction or risk really missing the boat for my life? I noticed a lot of Christians walking around anxiously wondering if they were “out of God’s will” or not. Some concerns were relatively trivial – did I buy the right present for my friend variety. Some were huge – did I marry the wrong person? Yikes. That’s a lot of anxiety. Some people seemed to be stuck in years of torment, struggling with questions like, “Does God want me to quit my job and be a missionary to Kazambi?” They went to pastors, prophets and endless special meetings hoping for the finger of God to come down and burn into the carpet, “GO to Kazambi!” Because, of course, unless that happened, you just couldn’t be sure and you wanted to be sure when it comes to God’s will!

I’ve come to believe the answer to knowing God’s will lies in what we DO know about God’s character. And what we DO know about his ultimate desire for us, which is relationship. Intimate relationship, real relationship – the kind best friends share, the kind genuine lovers share. The whole Bible, beginning to end, is about this relationship – how it got ruined and the extreme lengths God has gone to, to restore it. It’s not about what God has done to acquire more servants and it’s not about what God has done to build a bigger army of soldiers. It’s about walking in the garden with him like Adam did. It’s about being called a “friend of God” like Abraham, speaking face to face like Moses did. This is God’s heart…and therein we find his will.

Your best friend doesn’t tell you what to wear in the morning. Your beloved doesn’t tell you what to order for dinner. They might have a suggestion, but they are not going to shun you in disgust and sever your relationship if you don’t take their advice. God’s like that. He’s nice. Not just powerful and big, but nice! He has great ideas. He knows best what will work for you and satisfy your soul, so it’s really good to embrace those ideas. He cares even about the details, but he doesn’t dictate the details of your life, waiting with a, “Oh you blew it this time,” paddle of rebuke if you miss it. But what about the really big stuff?

Does God have a purpose and destiny for your life? You bet. Are you called to something glorious? Yes! So…how do you find out what it is? Take a walk in the garden. Hang out with God. When you are with him, what makes you happy? When your heart is aligned with his, what makes you want to get up in the morning? He is not calling you to something that makes you want to pull the covers over your head. If Kazambi makes you cringe, that’s not what God wired you for. If, on the other hand, the thought of Kazambi puts fire in your bones, you probably just got hot-wired to go! When your heart is his, you can trust what grows there.

Consider the following clues:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Ps. 37:4
He is the One who “satisfies your desires with good things.” Ps. 103:5
“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you.” John 15:7

Whoa, Nelly! Did Jonah want to go to Ninevah? No! Did Moses want to go before Pharaoh? No! Hence the big fish and burning bush. I think God reserves those voice-of-God experiences for when he has to overcome the fact that our hearts are NOT aligned with His. Sometimes he just has to pull out the 2x4 to get through. But in the context of abiding, being connected in relationship, he speaks most often through the transformed heart.

A short time ago, I asked God, “Do you want me to go back to India?” I was amazed at what I heard in my spirit. His gentle response was, “Well, what do YOU want to do?”

Really? I get to choose? Of course, I realized. He’s my friend. He said, “Ask of me and I will make the nations your inheritance.” (Ps. 2:8) So I asked him. I love India. More specifically, I love the women of India. So I prayed, “Give me the women of India. Let that be my work, the place where I can give myself.” Within 24 hours, I received an email from a woman in India I had not heard from in a year. She was inviting me to India for a women’s conference! I told you. God’s nice! He loves to love us and he longs to satisfy the desires of our heart.

God does not have a vague, elusive will hidden in some holy fog, forcing you to spend anxious days, months, even years searching in frustration to find it. That would just be plain mean. And he’s not mean. That’s not his character. In the context of your friendship with God, what rings your bell? He is the one who made you, who wired you, who gave you a new heart that resonates with His. Look at what it is that you desire and embrace the fact that God created this desire for a reason! Yes, we are created for His glory and whatever we do, we do for his glory. But you were also wired for joy. Those are mutually compatible ideas. That was Jesus’ promise. Joy.

For me, joy comes from watching the Holy Spirit settle over a Nepali woman’s soul, flooding her with peace as she understands the Word for perhaps the first time. For you, it could be anything! Eric Liddell, Olympic champion runner, said it well, as quoted in Chariots of Fire. His sister thought his running career was frivolous. She thought he should give it up for more religious endeavors. Eric disagreed. He said, “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” You see, God wired him to run for his glory. Maybe you are wired to grow flowers for his glory, or fix cars for his glory, or raise children for his glory. You know what it is. It’s that thing that makes you say, “Thank you Abba Daddy that I GET to do this!” It’s not a chore; it’s not a duty. It’s a joy!

It’s not complicated or hard. The indwelling Holy Spirit has made you one with the Father and the Son. His heart beats in yours. Really. It might not seem like it a lot of the time, but it does. What makes your heart race and thrill and say “Yes!”? Bingo. You found what he wired you for. And he’s just waiting for you to ask him for more, to “enlarge the place of your tent” so to speak. He loves to love you by satisfying the God-given desires of your heart. That’s his will.